Man-about-town Manhattan Transfer (now ClusterStock’s John Carney) has provided a classic guide on how to survive holiday parties.

Here’s one of his gems of wisdom:

Scenario 1: You can’t remember the name of the co-worker you are making out with in the supply cabinet.

Try to keep her mouth occupied in ways other than talking. If necessary, call her “baby” and “beautiful.” In my experience you should never resort to “mami” unless you are of the Latin persuasion. The fact is she probably doesn’t remember your name either. Unless you are her boss. Then you’re fucked.