On Sunday, I overheard this young musician tell a fellow musician about the book Life Doesn’t Frighten Me.   I smiled to myself as I remember the book by Maya Angelou and illustrated by Basquiat. It is a children’s book, but I think I need a copy.

In some many ways, I am fearless. I am gregarious at parties. I meet a lot of people. I have been on TV, done a wee bit of stand-up  and burlesque.  Lately, I get fearful over silly things like opening emails from people that require action from me. I am fearful of being away from email for more two hours. I fear that I am not doing all I can with my blogs.

Yesterday, I went to the TDBank Flip event at the Trapeze School.  It was fun and scary. There was no way I could have climbed up the shaky ladder and fly into the air.  I would have had a panic attack. I got on the trampoline and that was a little scary for me. I am a not of fan of shaky ground. I’m glad I went to try. It was good to see other people try and succeed, and it was also good to see people try and decide not to do trapeze.  It’s good to know yourself well enough to know what you can or cannot do.

Anyway, I don’t usually do the personal introspective stuff because it’s not what I do.  One thing I am not afraid of is what people think of me. I may not respond to every tweet, facebook message or email. If that bothers people, then so be it. I can’t talk all day online and get stuff done.

I didn’t know her personally.

I didn’t know it would hit me so hard.

Lena Horne has died.

“My identity is very clear to me now. I am a black woman. I’m free. I no longer have to be a ‘credit.’ I don’t have to be a symbol to anybody; I don’t have to be a first to anybody. I don’t have to be an imitation of a white woman that Hollywood sort of hoped I’d become. I’m me, and I’m like nobody else.”

She said that at age 80. I so wish she was free to say it much sooner.