Category Archives: writing

writing

Nichellest Interview: Beth Schoenfeldt, Entrepreneur

I met Beth Schoenfeldt when I took goddess classes at Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts back in 2001.  She’s an entrepreneur and a mom.  Here’s the original link to Gothamist.

 

Basics.
Astrological Sign.
Gemini

Bad habit/Day job.
My day job is FLOinc, which I have designed to work around my life. Yoga and manicures during the day, no alarm clock, working more in the evening. My good habit is coffee…I can’t wake up and start my day without it.

Where did you grow up and where do you live now? How long have you graced New York with your presence?
I went to high school and college in Texas. I moved to NY to go to
business school at Columbia, but it was just my excuse to get to NY and I never left. I have always felt like a New Yorker, but I have only physically been here for 10 years.

One for You.
How does helping women create movement in their life through FLO (whether through starting businesses, changing careers, or finding a mate) benefit New York and the world?
Creativity and motivation are contagious, so if you get women moving forward in their lives toward their dreams and desires than others follow along…it just takes one to take the leap. We now have hundreds of women in NY in the FLO Incubator, it is a movement.

What is the best improvement to New York City in the last year? 
That is easy, the new MoMA. It is sexy, it is fun, it is decadent, and it is inspiring. Seeing the art in this environment feels luxurious, like hanging out with old friends.

Other than world peace, what do you want for Christmas? 
A book deal from a major publisher and lots of kisses under the mistletoe.

If are given $20, an unlimited Metrocard and a free afternoon, what would you do to treat yourself? 
I would invite friends and go sit outside at Pastis on a beautiful day, drink wine and people watch, it is the best people watching in town.

Now that it’s getting cold, what (or who) do you do to stay warm? 
I have a sweet new honey that keeps me warm…so that along with 16 ply Cashmere sweaters do the trick.

Where is the best place in the city for semi-public sex?
Riverside Park in the summer.

Have you been naughty or nice this year?
I have been nice because I have embraced my naughtiness. Naughtiness is just another form of seduction, which is always nice.

What’s the one thing you miss whenever you leave New York?
The unique and indescribable drug that is the energy of New York. I have searched high and low but you can’t find that energy in any other city.

You’ve been asked to host a holiday party and the only requirement is that you must invite three New York celebrities (alive), who would you extend an invite to? 
Jerry Seinfeld, Jay-Z and Diane Sawyer.

If you could revoke a famous New Yorker’s citizenship, who would it be? 
Rudolph Giuliani. Despite his leadership during 9/11 and other
major contributions such as making the city safer, his relentless
support of George Bush makes me think he’s really just an opportunistic politician, not the moderate man-of-the-people-hero he claims to be. It makes me nervous to ever support a Republican because we put Giuliani in power as a moderate and he then turns around and supports a right-wing conservative government…it just doesn’t feel right…send him away.

FLO Incubator will have a holiday party December 15th. Check out the website for upcoming workshops.

writing

My Old Gothamist Interview: Carolyn Castiglia

Back in 2004, I used to do Gothamist Interviews.  Gothamist is shutting down, so I am posting my old interviews here.

I interviewed my friend, Carolyn Castiglia, back in July of 2004. Carolyn is a comedian based in New York City.

The Basics.
Age. (Ain’t nothing but a number)
27

Occupation/Day job.
Comic/Actress/Temp

How long have you lived here? Where are you from and where do you live now?

I’m originally from Oswego, NY. It’s a small town on Lake Ontario. I’ve lived here for almost four years. Now I live in East Harlem, but I used to live in Astoria. I had to get out of Astoria. My friends would call me from the train and say “Now how do I get to your house?” I’d say, “Okay, you can go one of two ways – you can go up the 24 hour Burger King/Scary Russian Dance School/Scary Russian Liquor Store side, or you can go up the stinky fish market side. Oh good, you’re on that side. Okay, if you don’t wanna step in the fish guts, just step in the broken glass from the abandoned cars. That’s what I do. Don’t worry about the lamb truck – it’s Greek Easter. Well, I’ve never seen a skinless, hairless lamb with a face either but I guess that’s what they like. It looks like Joan Rivers. I know. What? I can’t hear you – the train’s going through the backyard! Okay, sorry. Are you next to the club yet? You’ll know. Just look for the drunk 16-year-olds hitting each other with broken beer bottles. Alright – see the gas station across the street? That’s right next door to my house. See the window next to the pump? That’s our living room.”

One For You.
As a comedian and a married lady, what or who makes you laugh?
I don’t think I laugh at anything different than I used to as a single girl. I liked farts then and I still like ’em now. (As a comic device – not so much as a hobby or anything, although sometimes my marriage does feel like one big fart-fest.) I do like to laugh at the fact that I have two cats. I’m a dog person, but my husband is a cat person, so now I’m a cat person. Sometimes I say to my cats, “You ma dawg, dog!” and that always makes me laugh. They’re like my babies. I pick ’em up and sing to them. I kiss them on the face. I keep thinking, if this is how I treat my cats, how am I gonna treat my kid? I’m afraid my 14-year-old will be in one of those Baby Bjorn slings on the front of my chest going “Uh, Mom, can I go play now?” “No – Mommy just wants to hold you! Kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss!” Lots of things make me laugh. I’m a good laugher. People are always commenting on my laugh, being thankful for it or sometimes taken aback by it. But, if you think something’s funny, you should laugh. It’s good for you and it’s good for the person making you do it.

What’s your favorite subway stop?
Astor Place. It is completely in the center of all of the best parts of New York. The East Village is just my favorite place to be. There’s the Comedy Social, all the restaurants, and bars, the (window) shopping. I love it! But, probably the best thing about the Astor Place stop is that you can zip right into Kmart and zip out without ever going outside. Now that’s modernization!

What’s the most unusual pitch you heard from a panhandler?
This guy covered in filth from head to toe just sat there with a sign that said, “I need money for drugs and hookers. At least I’m honest.” I thought that was original. Then I thought, “Those poor hookers.”

If you could have a New York City neighborhood renamed after you which one would it be? I think Chelsea should be renamed Carolyn. It’s got a ring to it. “We’re goin’ down to a gay bar in Carolyn, wanna come?” “I saw the cutest pair of hot pants in Carolyn the other day!” “Oh my God, you live in Carolyn? Isn’t that expensive?!” Or, I would have Little Italy renamed Castiglione in honor of my Italian heritage and my undying love for pizza.

What’s the best place for a low-carb diet buster?
My house. Pizza, nachos and Ramen noodles! Mmm!

What outerborough place do you always say you would like to see but probably never will?
The Bronx Zoo. I always think, “We’ll make a day of it – go to the Zoo, the Botanical Garden” but I’ll probably never go. I live in Harlem – I don’t need to go far to see exotic animals. My super’s got a boa constrictor and my next door neighbor has an aviary. It takes up his whole back yard. He’s got parakeets, cockateels, everything. My other neighbor’s cats sit on top of it and just drool. It’s very entertaining. All that action is right outside my window. It’s a major improvement from looking out at the gas pump.

Where is the best place in the city for semi-public sex?
My house. Nothing is private in New York – especially when your blinds are too short.

You can check out the funky funniness that is only Carolyn Castiglia all around town. She is competing in the 2004 Ladies of Laughter Competition at the New York Improv tonight, Thursday, July 29 at 8:30 pm.

– Interview by Nichelle Newsletter

 

writing

Poem About Being Single in 2017

I don’t get free drinks anymore because of smartphones.

I used to be able to sidle up to a bar and flash my smile.

Then I would strike up a conversation with a guy.

Later he would buy me a round.

Now, no one looks up from the phone.

They are constantly scrolling,

Tindering,

Or furiously texting.

I spend more money in bars.

Or I spend more time at home.

The End.

opinion post, personal finance, writing

The Economy Has A Donkey Booty

Yes, I am comparing the United States’ economy to a woman’s figure. If you watch ‘Real Housewives of Atlanta‘, then you may have heard Phaedra Parks wax poetically about the Donkey Booty. It is a curvy, round butt that stands out. Despite Wall Street profits and the S&P hitting record highs, the middle class is shrinking. The middle class is losing numbers like JHud whittled her waistline from Weight Watchers. The new jobs coming from the private sectors are not living wage jobs. The public sector is not doing enough to create jobs. Cutting spending and creating lopsided stimulus packages are the only tools Congress is using. To refer back to my analogy, Congress keeps cutting carbs from their spending diet and thinks that makes the economy healthy. You may fit into those skinny jeans, but it doesn’t mean you are fiscally fit. The majority of jobs is coming from the retail and restaurant industry which typically are low wage jobs even if in managerial positions. These jobs don’t pay enough for a family to get ahead or even cover basic needs. Some people who are vying for these positions are often college-educated and are over-qualified. The current labor market is slack with four generations who are eligible to work. The donkey booty is a synonym for a woman’s posterior, an onion. Basically, the economy is so bad at the low end that it can make you CRY.

writing

Ad Executive Realness?!

Mad Men is back with its fifth season and I am excited for its return. There are so many writers busy
recapping episodes that I won’t do that here. However I will ruminate on themes of the show that I perceive. Yesterday, I walked into a vintage clothing store in Red Hook and browsed a bit When I left, I laughed at the store’s sign that said “spring picnic realness”. I immediately thought of the documentary, “Paris Is Burning” and the ball categories like “executive realness”.

This led me to think how Don Draper is more than a character; he is a caricature of what many think of 1960’s advertising executive looked, drank, smoked, and screwed. In fact, maybe Don Draper is the drag persona Dick Whitman.

It may seem like a stretch, but Jon Hamm’s acting as Don could be like a straight man in hyper masculine drag.

Sent from my Android,
Nichelle Stephens