writing

My Old Gothamist Interview: Carolyn Castiglia

Back in 2004, I used to do Gothamist Interviews.  Gothamist is shutting down, so I am posting my old interviews here.

I interviewed my friend, Carolyn Castiglia, back in July of 2004. Carolyn is a comedian based in New York City.

The Basics.
Age. (Ain’t nothing but a number)
27

Occupation/Day job.
Comic/Actress/Temp

How long have you lived here? Where are you from and where do you live now?

I’m originally from Oswego, NY. It’s a small town on Lake Ontario. I’ve lived here for almost four years. Now I live in East Harlem, but I used to live in Astoria. I had to get out of Astoria. My friends would call me from the train and say “Now how do I get to your house?” I’d say, “Okay, you can go one of two ways – you can go up the 24 hour Burger King/Scary Russian Dance School/Scary Russian Liquor Store side, or you can go up the stinky fish market side. Oh good, you’re on that side. Okay, if you don’t wanna step in the fish guts, just step in the broken glass from the abandoned cars. That’s what I do. Don’t worry about the lamb truck – it’s Greek Easter. Well, I’ve never seen a skinless, hairless lamb with a face either but I guess that’s what they like. It looks like Joan Rivers. I know. What? I can’t hear you – the train’s going through the backyard! Okay, sorry. Are you next to the club yet? You’ll know. Just look for the drunk 16-year-olds hitting each other with broken beer bottles. Alright – see the gas station across the street? That’s right next door to my house. See the window next to the pump? That’s our living room.”

One For You.
As a comedian and a married lady, what or who makes you laugh?
I don’t think I laugh at anything different than I used to as a single girl. I liked farts then and I still like ’em now. (As a comic device – not so much as a hobby or anything, although sometimes my marriage does feel like one big fart-fest.) I do like to laugh at the fact that I have two cats. I’m a dog person, but my husband is a cat person, so now I’m a cat person. Sometimes I say to my cats, “You ma dawg, dog!” and that always makes me laugh. They’re like my babies. I pick ’em up and sing to them. I kiss them on the face. I keep thinking, if this is how I treat my cats, how am I gonna treat my kid? I’m afraid my 14-year-old will be in one of those Baby Bjorn slings on the front of my chest going “Uh, Mom, can I go play now?” “No – Mommy just wants to hold you! Kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss!” Lots of things make me laugh. I’m a good laugher. People are always commenting on my laugh, being thankful for it or sometimes taken aback by it. But, if you think something’s funny, you should laugh. It’s good for you and it’s good for the person making you do it.

What’s your favorite subway stop?
Astor Place. It is completely in the center of all of the best parts of New York. The East Village is just my favorite place to be. There’s the Comedy Social, all the restaurants, and bars, the (window) shopping. I love it! But, probably the best thing about the Astor Place stop is that you can zip right into Kmart and zip out without ever going outside. Now that’s modernization!

What’s the most unusual pitch you heard from a panhandler?
This guy covered in filth from head to toe just sat there with a sign that said, “I need money for drugs and hookers. At least I’m honest.” I thought that was original. Then I thought, “Those poor hookers.”

If you could have a New York City neighborhood renamed after you which one would it be? I think Chelsea should be renamed Carolyn. It’s got a ring to it. “We’re goin’ down to a gay bar in Carolyn, wanna come?” “I saw the cutest pair of hot pants in Carolyn the other day!” “Oh my God, you live in Carolyn? Isn’t that expensive?!” Or, I would have Little Italy renamed Castiglione in honor of my Italian heritage and my undying love for pizza.

What’s the best place for a low-carb diet buster?
My house. Pizza, nachos and Ramen noodles! Mmm!

What outerborough place do you always say you would like to see but probably never will?
The Bronx Zoo. I always think, “We’ll make a day of it – go to the Zoo, the Botanical Garden” but I’ll probably never go. I live in Harlem – I don’t need to go far to see exotic animals. My super’s got a boa constrictor and my next door neighbor has an aviary. It takes up his whole back yard. He’s got parakeets, cockateels, everything. My other neighbor’s cats sit on top of it and just drool. It’s very entertaining. All that action is right outside my window. It’s a major improvement from looking out at the gas pump.

Where is the best place in the city for semi-public sex?
My house. Nothing is private in New York – especially when your blinds are too short.

You can check out the funky funniness that is only Carolyn Castiglia all around town. She is competing in the 2004 Ladies of Laughter Competition at the New York Improv tonight, Thursday, July 29 at 8:30 pm.

– Interview by Nichelle Newsletter

 

Black People, women

For The Culture: #forthedchallenge and more

It’s almost October, and I feel lucky to still be here.  Natural and man-made disasters have got me down.  However, there’s always someone creating dope shit. Here’s a quick list of what I am all about right now.

Desiree Burch is doing her thing in the UK.  She did Edinborough Fringe Fest and she did stand-up on Comedy Central UK.  Her solo show, Unf*ckable, is having a run at the Soho Theatre in London.

Janelle James‘ comedy album. Black and Mild, dropped today, September 29th.  Get it on iTunes. I did, and I LOLed.

I went down the rabbit hole looking at the #forthedchallenge videos.  I loved Issa and Regina’s as well as Jenifer Lewis who used the viral challenge to promote her upcoming book,  The Mother of Black Hollywood.

Kamau Ware is doing something for the culture with his Black Gotham Wall Street walking tours.

I really like Essence magazine’s podcast, ‘Yes, Girl’.  Download on iTunes.

I am digging Cassius Life.

 

women

Hurricane Harvey: How You Can Help

 

 

“Houston, we have a problem.”  – It’s a quote that is overused, but it is relevant with Hurricane Harvey hitting Houston right now.  Houston is the 4th largest city in the country, and the city is under water. This is worse than Matthew, Katrina or Superstorm Sandy.

Black women are helping black women during this crisis. Dr. Roni Dean-Burren is collecting the information of Black women who need help due to the hurricane.

Please encourage Black women to go to this link http://bit.ly/SupportBWHou and put their cash app info in!

I will make all cash app links public on tomorrow…..they will begin receiving money tomorrow. I have faith in that!

#SupportBlackWomenHOU

 

 

writing

Poem About Being Single in 2017

I don’t get free drinks anymore because of smartphones.

I used to be able to sidle up to a bar and flash my smile.

Then I would strike up a conversation with a guy.

Later he would buy me a round.

Now, no one looks up from the phone.

They are constantly scrolling,

Tindering,

Or furiously texting.

I spend more money in bars.

Or I spend more time at home.

The End.

food and drink

Earl Grey Tea and Orange Sherbet Milk Shake

 

When I lived in Brooklyn, I loved going to Van Leeuwen’s for their Earl Grey ice cream. I miss it. One day, I was bored and creative and made a delicious milkshake that kinda resembles the flavor of that ice cream. BTW, Earl Grey tea has bergamot which is a citrus fruit like an orange, so I thought the orange sherbet would go well and it did.  I initially published this on Cucumbertown, but since they are shutting down, I am reposting here.

Ingredients:

  • 1 Earl Grey Tea bag of Twinings
  • 8 oz of  Almond milk
  • 2 scoops of Orange sherbet
  • 1 Frozen banana
  • 1/2 tablespoon of orange zest

Directions:

Use a small saucepan to brew tea in almond milk for 5 minutes.Chill tea in the fridge before adding to the blender Place frozen banana, orange zest, sherbet in

Chill tea in the fridge before adding to the blender. Place frozen banana, orange zest, sherbet in

Place frozen banana, orange zest, sherbet in a blender. Add tea and blend using the smoothie button. For stronger tea flavor, brew for longer.

PS. Here’s a recipe for making your own Earl Grey Ice Tea ice cream.

opinion, women

I Was Never Afraid To Support Hillary Clinton

I wasn’t enthusiastic about supporting Hillary Clinton. I voted for her.  One of my Facebook “friends” unfriended back in the spring during the primaries because he was a die-hard Bernie Sanders supporter. I was just irked that this dude blew up my comment thread on Facebook by arguing with other friends on Facebook. I had to disable the comments because it was getting ugly. However, I was never in fear of my safety. It is prescient that some Hillary supporters joined Pantsuit Nation (PSN) as a safe space for Hillary Clinton. Did they know something I didn’t know?! In retrospect, I would posit that PSN had many close friends and family who were Trump supporters, and they sought out PSN as refuge. However, it wasn’t like joining Weight Watchers. Pantsuit Nation is the worst accountability partner ever. By remaining silent and not promoting advocacy, PSN was just a place to bitch and moan about Trump. In a way, it makes more sense that there was a secret Trump Facebook group, but since Trump voters had nothing to worry about, I guess it wasn’t necessary. Besides, there are secret Facebook groups for buying guns, and I am sure they reach a similar demographic.

opinion

Wing WoMAn

Last week, I was out at a drinking with friends and one of my friend’s co-workers was complaining about being single. I offered to go out with her and we could each other’s wing woman. Later, she recounted a story about how she used her cleavage and curvy plus-sized body to get the host of a restaurant to give her and her parents a table. She mentioned that the host was a black guy. “Black guys love me.” I rolled my eyes. Does she think she can use me to get swirly with some random Black dude? The offer to be her wing woman has officially been rescinded.

comedy

First Video Of My Stand-up Comedy Set


I have been doing open mics around for the past seven or eight months now. I really like doing stand-up comedy and I am happy that I waited until now to do it. I don’t feel competitive, and I love when other comics make me laugh. My goal is to have a tight five-minute set.  This video from when I performed a few weeks ago at Foxy Loxy, a coffee shop in my neighborhood. Over the Thanksgiving holiday, my sister kept feeding me “jokes” that she thought I could use in my set.  She gave me ideas, but it takes a while to formulate a joke. Joke writing is not as easy as it looks. You have to have a set-up and a punchline. Also, a callback is also good.  When the audience can see how you called back to a previous joke, they laugh not only because they see how clever you are for making it, but also they feel clever they are for catching it. It’s a win-win!

It's Nichelle With An "N"