I was watching an episode of Law & Order and I thought of my cousin Walani. Walani was murdered 24 years ago. She was stabbed to death in her apartment in Bushwick. I stayed in her apartment when I first moved to New York. She helped me find my first place in BedStuy. She introduced me to ceviche. She was a middle school teacher.

I have lost three cousins since then. Walani’s brother Malcolm died from cancer in his 40s. Last year my cousin Durrel died from a rare lung disease. He received heart and lung transplant, but he was never able to leave the hospital on his own. He was 52. Three months ago, my cousin Dwayne died from a sudden heart attack. I spoke at his funeral.